Hey there! You’ll want to read this!

This is a story. A story about a person, who is just like you and me. Let’s say her name is Alison. She is in her twenties struggling for getting a decent job after her graduation. She sent many applications for jobs but due to this pandemic, she is not getting one. Finally, after some hurdles she lands on a decent job with low salary. She was happy. At least she got a job! After working for one to two weeks she found out, due to her naïve nature everyone around her is taking advantage of her. Her seniors, her colleagues, her team mates etc. She thought, she should not speak about this because she needs that job and if you are in need then you’ll have to hear any donkey’s rant. So she ignored and let it slides all the incidents which had happened with her. Her confidence level started to drop. Self respect level was almost zero. She found herself getting frustrated, sad and anxious all the time. She started making mistakes in her work too. She was fed up. After some days, her limit was crossed. She wanted to stop all this toxicity. But a problem is there. She needs the job.

Read Also : Yes, I am in a relationship with…. (A little thing called love)

My next story is about Gabriella. She is also struggling to find jobs. She is in her 30’s. She is not married but she has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend is heavily loaded with money. But that’s not her money according her opinions. She needed job for herself. Her family, her boyfriend, everyone around her is pushing to get married and settle down in her life; after all she is in her 30’s. She also started getting frustrated and questioning herself of her caliber. She pushed herself to an extent but her hard work is not getting any results. She thought, is it even worth it to find a job? Or she should listen to her family and get married?

Well, both situations are different. Both women have a generation gap of 10 years. Their problems are different. One is fed up of her work environment and other one is fed up of ‘getting settled in 30’s’. But they have a common issue. They are compromising their Self worth because of their situations. Alison needs job and Gabriella’s age problem. We all are just like these two. We contemplate our decisions for our self worth. We think that self worth, self value is only for riches or those who have power and money. As a commoner, we never complain about it and we just have to accept the oppression. This is where we wrong! Just because you are in need you should not accept any kind of oppression on yourself. We say, ‘This is reality’ but ‘this reality’ can have much more effect on your future. Once oppressed will be always oppressed.

Ignoring our self worth and saying yes to any situation will harm your mental health too. In case of Alison, after going from everything she had a mental breakdown where she couldn’t handle her emotions. And in case of Gabriella, she left her boyfriend and cut all her contacts with her family and stops every effort she was putting for her job. These two have had enough. This could be your situation too if you let yourself get pressurized by peer. Your brain will have that end point of being resilient.

 Well, what is self worth? How you value yourself is your self-worth. Let’s take an example, you are doing something you like and you are happy with it then suddenly, someone ask “Is it worth it?” this question captured all your attention and you start doubting yourself. Do I have that potential? What is meaning of this? Why I am doing this even? Then this confusion changes your thought process and you started doubting your self-worth. In other case, nobody questions you but you yourself only, let others crush your self-worth. You think you are nobody. Everyone is around you are perfect in every way. ‘You are worthy of nothing.’ This sentence changes everything in your life.

I will not say any kind of motivational quotes like you are special you should know that, you are worthy of everything, be badass don’t let others to get you like that. If someone started to question your self -worth or said you are going to be failure then ladies and gentleman, tell them only one thing,

“You are not God, you too are struggling for yourself and nobody knows the future so your words are nothing but the ripples of vacant waves in air!”

According to Merriam-Webster’s definition of Self worth :

“A feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect”

We often get confused with self respect and self worth and other terms of self. They are closely related to each other with just slight difference in them. For example, self- respect means having opinions for yourself, respecting your opinions and yourself and self worth is seeing yourself as something. That you deserve everything and you are worthy of everything. (Don’t worry! This is just definition and I’m sticking on my not so motivational Post)

I just wanted to tell you even if you need something now desperately, have some time to think of the future effects of letting yourself down. When you are at zero, you not need to be afraid of anything because you’ve got nothing to lose. Speak up for yourself in any situation. If you think you are adjusting something then let me tell you adjustment is far different than letting yourself down. Adjustments are done for the situations not with the behavior of someone.

What are your opinions on this?

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Yes, I am in a relationship with…. (A little thing called love)

Yes! You read it right! I am in love. Before guessing or judging anything, let me clear one thing! It is not about me. It is about that person I love the most. Maybe I love that person more than anyone else. That person is so special to me. I tried to express myself to everyone but no one was trying to hear me, instead of comfort I got advice, tons of advice. I was seeking a listener and that person came in my life as a listener. I told my story and that person listened it every time. I found my solace in shadow of that person’s. I got a closure in that shadow.

 Well, before revealing anything else, let me tell you one thing about love. (Don’t worry I’m not going to talk some lovey dovey shit here, I don’t like cringe) We constrict the definition of love to some limit. Well, love is timeless, shapeless, ageless concept but because of our literature, we like to constrict it to relations, lovers and emotions.

The concept of love is beyond that thing. Again, we make it look like most sacred thing on the earth with power to conquer anything but in reality love is not about conquering but is about giving and sacrifying and just loving! It doesn’t meant you have to be with or to love when you are with your partner but also let them go if they don’t want to be with you! To Love someone is a choice, to wait for them is also a choice. You can’t force, expect someone to accept you and love you as you are (let’s be honest no one can accept you as you are! that’s something like fantasy, and in reality we all have to adjust in our relationships).

Source : Pinterest

(Not so sorry for this is not a ‘One thing’). One day in my (I guess) 2nd or 3rd year of college, one professor told me that we women have tendency to get jealous and to be insecure about our loved once. And thing is poisonous in our life. We asked her why? She said, “We ask for out of the world expectation from our loved once. If some other person also loves them then we get jealous and insecure. We do not trust our own feelings. We do not trust our love. (Listen carefully; I am talking about love not a person). These thoughts and insecurities make us to dig our own grave. We love conditionally not unconditionally. These are ‘one thing’ I want to say. Don’t expect something in return of your love. Love unconditionally. (I am not saying love your enemies or the abusers, that’s Stockholm syndrome).

Read Also : Plethora of Changes In privileged youth of 2020

Now, you’ll ask why I am telling this rant to you. Well, this rant is necessary context to my next point. Yeah I am going to reveal that person who brought sunshine in my life! And that person is *drumrolls* ‘New Me’. (I am not a narcissist) you guys hypocritically have assumed some random guy’s name, haven’t you? Don’t feel ridiculous, we all are hypocrites at some points. ‘New me’ is the new version of myself for me just like a mobile update. I’ve decided to love myself little more, to take care a little more and to forgive myself little more.

Source: Pinterest

We often forget to do things for ourselves. Small things like drinking water, eating healthy food, grooming our skills, developing our personality etc. now you will think like “hey !I do these for myself what’s new in that?” yes you do but not for yourself but to prove someone. For example, developing personality and skills for better job or work opportunity, giving 100 percent for study to gain marks or 1st rank, drink water because you need that hydrated body for clear complexion, eating healthy to show off on social media. These things we do has some reasons behind them, we not do it for our self. Imagine if you were born in a rich household, would you do these things? The answer is big fat ‘No’! Because you would have paid maids to take care for you.

Listen here buddy! No one, I repeat, no one is going to be with you other than yourself. Forget others you are going to be with you until your death. That’s why you need to love yourself more. If you can’t love yourself, you can never love others (that’s true telling from other’s experience not mine). You should hug yourself more, cry a little more let that emotions and stress out, compliment yourself more (others will not give it anyway) embrace yourself more and accept yourself more! Self love is not easy. It is the hardest things to do but little by little you’ll see the changes. And at some point, you will not need someone else to take care of you. You’ll be enough for yourself!

‘Understand that you own nothing. Everything that surrounds you is temporary, only the love in your heart will last forever’. – Gautama Buddha.

What do you think about Self Love? Give your opinions on it! Please Like, Follow and Share.

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Plethora of Changes In privileged youth of 2020

As a 90’s kid, I observed that today’s generation (me too) is too privileged to take reality of world seriously. We are too open to technology, we have financial stability (thanks to our parents), and too secure from world out there. Basically, everything is in our hands. These privileges led us to be ignorant of other things which are not in our sight. I am not talking about world peace or climate change but what I want to focus is our individual future.

Source : Pinterest (LifeHack)

We are so confident about we will get everything we want but when we fail to achieve that, our mental health is so weak; we decide to end things there! Our previous generation had their problems too. They also had faced failures but their mental health was strong enough to handle situations. I am not comparing them with us but just face it they had more hardships in their life than us.

Source: Google

The memes are viral on internet about a dad telling his children how they took education in their time (exaggeration of climbing mountains, crossing rivers, crossing forest and desserts etc) but it is not a lie! We are only facing a Pandemic and they’d faced an economic recession, pandemic of Sars, Wars, and explosions of nuclear bombs, scams, frauds and everything we learnt in History. Still we belittle them showing our problems. I maybe sound like a boomer but it is true!

When we have everything in our hands still we are not using it properly and blaming others if things go wrong. ‘It takes two to make a quarrel’ so as per this phrase we are also responsible for our faults (which we never agree btw). Our privileged generation is unfortunately focused on destroying themselves rather than making a History! We are putting show on social media of our picture perfect life and nothing else. Showing fake support or not supporting others; those who are actually making or trying something (for love of God at least share this post). We continuously and confidently give negative remarks (not criticizing) to others even when we are not on their level. And trust me folks, criticizing is far more different than negative remarks. But we are insensible enough to expect help from others when we ‘need’ support.

Source : Pinterest

Are you a privileged child? Then you have a long way to go! Because privileges comes with more cons than pros! We depreciate occupations which are not white collared, we do not value money and we take our parents for granted everything! Recently, I watched the most famous TV show Dr. Phil (I Watched Rich Brat children’s counseling session to improve their behavior) episodes and I was shocked! I don’t know it was scripted or not but the 14 and 15 years old girls has out of world expectations from their parents! Not only this, Instagram perfect life is an illusion but our youth is doing everything to achieve it. If you are thinking to make it your business then it is okay but business also have some kind of ethics and if you are doing this for your fame then just stop buddy!

Read Also: Persistence-A used but rare gem

Overindulgence in social media can make you crackhead and if you doubt my sentence then search on Google about most viral things. You’ll see crore of bizarre and weird things young people had done to gain fame and publicity. After that also if you don’t have conscience then dude you are already a crackhead.

In September 2020, Indian bestselling author and a famous columnist of Times of India newspaper Chetan Bhagat published a blog about ignorance of youth about Indian economy. He questioned the youth about choices and priorities like solving a celebrity’s death conspiracy and other unnecessary incidents. The title itself says a lot about the blog, the youth need to shut their phones and ask about the economy. This maybe a one side or his opinions but in the ratio of reality; youth’s priorities are 9:1. Only 1 per cent of youth are focusing more on country’s and individual development rather than slacking off.

As a youth we all have more potential and technology than our previous generation but we don’t have the sense to change or to support the change. We are happy in our own personal bubble and dreaming about doing out of box things. Our comfort zone is too delightful to us. Our parent’s decisions are burden to us but we are too afraid to confront them. We seek sympathy from others and refuse to improve ourselves even a bit. We are not even in the box to think out of the box. This may sounds negative but reality is always not positive.

What do you think of this? Like, Comment and Share!

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Persistence- A used but rare gem (Not A Motivational Post)

We all know this cliché line ‘Persistence is the key to the success’ but if this is ‘the key’ then why successful people are less? Many people likes to read motivational books, leadership books (I also like to read, don’t mind me) but everyone is not a leader or a motivational speaker or a successful person! My teachers, college professors, some friends and some narcissist people in my life told me about success, how it is important to us and Blah! Blah! But what I observed, those people are still not successful in their life. They are struggling just like me or maybe less than me. Don’t worry this is not motivational post! These are my rational and logical (at least to me) thoughts.

So back to our Persistence, what we, I mean we all lack to achieve success, because of abandoning things in middle. Things mean it can be a habit, a new course, your business, your start-up, your execution of plans, it could be anything. We all start off quite well then we continue it also very well but where we get fooked (didn’t want use curse) up? We gave up in the middle! But why we gave up? Because loss of faith in our work and ourselves.

Even if we try to be persistent we fail. And that failing is more dangerous than failing completely. We abandon our ideas and creativity with it! A person who believed and has faith in him/her survives! Well now that was sad story isn’t it? (Don’t worry! I am also one of the half fellers!)

Now we will see the bright side (obviously! Not above paragraph). The bright side, standing up from that half failing is pretty easy! Just you should have that will to do. No one said that you can’t be persistent after you failed to be one. So take advantage of it and keep trying to be persistent. Certainly, one day you’ll achieve that. And after this continuation cycle will run in speed then voila! There is no speed breaker for your success (At least not from your side) (and I can’t guarantee future obstacles too).

The international bestseller book of author Napoleon Hill ‘Think and Grow Rich’ has contains an entire chapter for this ‘Persistence’. Napoleon Hill has given steps for becoming rich or you can say the qualities one should posses for being successful. I would like to quote one paragraph of this chapter which really made me move my butt and do something. (I guess this will also help you to move your butt).

Read Also: A Good Day & A Bad Day- A Totally New Perspective

“How to ‘snap out’ of mental inertia”

“You may find it necessary to “snap out of” your mental inertia (a tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged) through a similar procedure, moving slowly at first, then increasing your speed, until you gain complete control over your will. Be persistent no matter what how slowly you may, at first, have to move. With persistence will come success.”

So What are your thoughts on this post? Please like, share and tell me in the comments below! and don’t forget to follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and WordPress.

A Good Day & A Bad Day- A Totally New Perspective

Yesterday, I was strolling in the park near my house. I was thinking about planning my new blog. What should I write and what not. Suddenly, while walking I stumbled on a particular spot for two times! I came in my senses and scold myself for zoning out but again for third time I stumbled on that spot! I loudly cursed and sat on nearest bench. I thought this day is bad one! But was it?

We all have some good days and bad days in our daily life. Just our perspective matters the most. We differentiate days on basis of what good and bad incidents had happened. Days are just days. They are neither good nor bad. If we stop differentiating the incidents maybe we will live each day without any irritation or extreme happiness. While reading an article about psychology I came across this word ‘Proactive’ and this word blew my mind! ‘Proactive’ literally means ‘Creating or controlling a situation rather than just responding to it after it has happened’.

Read Also: Top 4 K-Drama Female Leads -My Opinion

Our ‘reaction’ to any incident makes us happy or sad.

Giving reactions is something we can’t avoid but at least we should try to control it. There is this quote “Nobody makes you angry; you decide to use anger as a response”. Our reactions have power to feel emotions. Reactions can ignite flames of anger, sadness, happiness and joy but remember nobody wants to handle your emotions unless it’s for their advantage (Like Politicians).

If we see the incident from totally new perspective then that will change the game 360 degree!

Perspective can also change your day. You are having or thinking about your bad day then change the perspective like if you are irritated for making mistakes while doing work then think about (At least try) what did you learned from it. It can give positive aspect to that mistake. If you have no energy in beginning of day to work, consider that your body desperately needs rest. Don’t blame it on the day!

Let’s take the example of my previously described incident. If I hadn’t reacted like that then I wouldn’t have suffered so much. Just because of my reaction to particular incident made my day totally bad!

If we try to control or give different reaction our day would be way better or not bad at all!

Isn’t it quite amazing? But our emotions are master of us. They get under our skin. A good day or a bad day is wholly depends on our reactions.

Talking about reactions, I also thought that our thoughts also make our days good or bad like someday you’ll feel happy, someday you’ll feel sad. Constant bugging of negative thoughts and anxiousness can makes us depressed leading to a bad day. Vacant mind is a house of devil and it can destroy you any time.

If you are feeling low, sad, depressed then think only one thing you are choosing to be this way! We can’t blame situations and a certain day for a reason. It is you! You want to be in that way! If you are feeling good now then appreciate yourself because you choose to be happy! Feeling sad is okay but blaming it on a day is not! Well that was my thinking!

Tell me in comments what do you feel today? Was your day good or bad?

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Top 4 K-Drama Female Leads -My Opinion

What I have done in this lockdown is watching Korean Dramas! I started watching Korean dramas from 9th grade. My first ever drama was ‘Playful Kiss’ the second one that led me to this vicious circle of binge-watching was ‘Boys over flowers. I was in school so Boys over flowers was really dreaming for me. It was high school drama so as a teen I loved that one. But after years passed I got more into romantic comedies and thriller genre dramas. Also as I grew up I started noticing character development, plot, acting, cinematography, and pictures in the frame. Because of this drama addiction, I took a bachelor’s degree in Mass Media and I learned a lot from it.

As a ‘legally mature person I started criticizing dramas more than anything. It is not like I never liked any Indian drama but I hate the way of showing women’s character. Always oppressed, housewives and god knows why some intelligent yet dumb vamps. But in Korean dramas, I also found out female leads are just like Indian female leads but in advanced type.  Korean dramas also gave me a kind of disappointment.

But much to my surprise, this year (year 2020-2021) I got to see many badass female leads in dramas. Some dramas are underrated but the character development, plot, the storyline is on to the point. From all my favorite badass protagonists, I came up with five female leads of drama to which we all can relate!

1.Oh Min Joo (Run On)

Run On’s storyline revolves around athlete Ki Seon Gyeom and translator Oh Min Joo. It is their love story. But this drama surprisingly covered many things which happened in our life. Now talking about Oh Min Joo, my badass character, she is a strong independent woman who is struggling to meet her ends.

She is an orphan but she won’t let her mind down due to this. She is not annoying, fragile, or dumb FL but a sensible, strong, and firm decision-maker female lead. In fact, she believes in self-love more than anything. Her dreams matter to her more than anything. Through her dialogues, you can imagine her inner thoughts.

The Video Is Taken From YouTube (Netflix Swoon)

2. Seo Dan Ah (Run On)

If you have watched drama you might see her as an arrogant, egoistic, and career ambitious woman who doesn’t respect anyone, not even her family. Her dialogues also seem to be sarcastic and rude but to me, she is the best character in Drama. She is career-oriented, pragmatic thinker, lowkey lover, and overall definition of the modern feminist. Her surrounding made her rude because why not (spoilers ahead) her father only wanted her to marry someone, her illegitimate brother wanted to overpower her and rude to her. Any girl in this century will behave exactly like her if these things happen. She is well respected and feared by everyone in her company. Even if she is a girl she dreams to be a successful woman in her field. I can relate to her character more than anything ever because as a girl I am still fighting with patriarchy, biasedness, partiality in society. She chose a career over her love not because she is selfish but her priority was that. I admired her more than anything.

3. Ko Moon Young (It’s okay to not be okay)

The most psychotic, weird, anti-social character in the drama. She is chaotically beautiful in her own way. You may see her as a psychopath in drama or she is not a ‘proper lady’ according to the ‘Korean Drama Stylebook’. But she has more strong personality than ML in drama. She overcame her fears, anti-social ness, and past traumas of her life. This drama tells us the story of two brothers and an author of children’s books (Ko Moon Young). How their lives are interconnected with each other and how they heal each other is must watch from my side.

4. Nam Ji Ah (Tale of nine-tailed)

Two adjectives are best for her intelligent and fearless badass woman. The tale of nine-tailed is a story of Gumiho ( Mythical Korean Nine-Tailed Fox) and his past life lover. In this drama, the female lead Ji ah is shown as intelligent and beautiful with brain girl who tackles every situation with her wisdom and brainpower. In drama, she doesn’t make any stupid mistakes like any other FL which was appreciable. Her character growth from a heartless, insensitive woman to a caring woman is notable. I like the way they have shown the development of character.

All pictures and edits are taken from Pinterest and google. Copyrights are given to unknown source.

So these are my top 4 badass female characters in Korean dramas. What are yours? Are you a Kdrama fan? If yes then comment below! Like and share this blog if you like the content!

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Situational Errors While Continuing Habits

Sticking to good habits is a hard task to do! I also fail to stick to good habits. It all started with this great enthusiasm but then after a month or two these ‘situational errors’ got us and we all push back the routine which we had set for our continuation of habit. These situational errors came of any kind. It could be work-related, family-related, and health-related. You just have to name it. To be honest I faced this lot! I tried maintaining a blog failed to do it because of an internship!

I tried to write stories failed to do it because of exams, I tried to continue my dance practice failed to do it because of academics, and there are many things throughout 20 years of my life I failed to it because of these situational errors. It is something that I can’t even blame! I guess we all are gone through this situation or going through this situation where we fail to continue something we love because of the situation. Many other ‘Positive thinkers’ will believe that these are mere reasons which we are giving to avoid blame or guilt. But honestly, these are not reasons! Every motivational speaker outside there will tell you that these situational errors are obstacles in your life and you have to face them and overcome them but no one tells us that how to do it! This is where experience and failures mattered the most. Failures and experiences told us how to do it.

I am at age of 21, I admit I have my whole life ahead but that doesn’t stop me from worrying! That doesn’t stop me from overthinking! Then what will? The present! The present is the only thing in my hand. I have to make my present better then my future will be secure. I have to make my present time productive only after that my future will be creative. I honestly don’t know how many times I will fail to continue some good habits but at least I tried and trying is better than doing nothing! So folks, no matter what, even if you fail to continue something try it again and again. Before thinking about your future make your present great. You are not alone I am with you! 

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