Tag Archives: #selfimprovementalways
Good. Better. Best
Imagine you’re doing something giving one hundred per cent of your mind, body, and soul. (Maybe some work-related project or school-related or something like that) But you are not getting any results from it. You are trying your best but nope. Nada. nothing. Everybody around you is telling don’t be disappointed you’ll get your reward etc. etc but You still feel demotivated. This sadness, this demotivation is quite understandable. Being always positive is hard and senseless. (In my case without logic) So as per this situation what do we all do? We quit. And quitting something that’s not working is easy. But in the middle of all this depression, demotivation, and sadness we forgot the major thing! That is segregation. In this blog, we’ll see what I am talking about.
The Good. The Better. The Best.
This is the golden trio of your work. Before quitting we need to analyze these three so we can retire. (Obviously from work, not yk other things).
The Good
Let’s see the first one of this trio—the good. Don’t take it as a literal word but think of it as an idea. The things like you worked on something. Good thing that at least you tried to work on something. Good thing that you were not hopeless at that time. Good thing that you started something. Remember all those times when you first started doing your project with all that enthusiasm and motivation (I bet you’ll smile after reading this)
The Better
You’re not the same as before. You are not at zero but you reached four or five maybe. So this is better. Better that you are improved. You’re improving something too. Maybe slowly or should I use a fancy word like lethargically? (PS. I’m joking) So You better understand that (Another joke)
If you find this interesting read this too!
The Best
Now to the best part. Like the middle part of the sandwich, the best always comes late. You have endured and suffered to achieve it. The best part of your work was YOU TOOK A RISK. Taking risks is not easy. It is the most challenging part of our life. But still, those who have the guts to do it, just do it.
In the end, no matter what decision you’ll make, it will be yours to handle and I’m sure it will be good for you!
The Myth of Experience
“You are too young for this”
“Don’t do this, listen to me I am more experienced than you”
“Don’t try to teach me, I have seen world more than you”
“Oh my child! Don’t be so overconfident, the real world is way far different than you imagine!”
Well, as a child I heard this alot from every person around me. I tend to listen and try to take it as advice. But as I grew up I started being rebellious to those dialogues. I was fed up with them. I started questioning “does everything depend on your experience?” “Then what is the role of education and knowledge in it?” “Is observation not necessary?” “Am I too young to know it’s seriousness?” And whatnot. Every decision, every risk made by these experienced people is believed to be right, and good for us. But is it really true?
Well, (Gosh! I use well for every paragraph) this is not true and it depends. The one who learn from experience is wise and the one does not is dumb head or simply too lazy to learn. We all get good and bad kind of experiences in our lifetime but what is the most important, what we learn from them. Now, you’ll think, this is some random boring thing I am reading now but tell me one thing how much knowledge you gain from your experience throughout your growing years? Let’s see the patterns. Sometimes one kind of situation happens with us again and again until we learn from them. We think that is bad luck but trust me life is giving us chances to learn from it repeatedly. Isn’t it good? Getting chances again and again in your life! Now we’ll come to the next point, the expiry date of experience. I do believe as time, period, society changes the past experience get expired. We do use it for observing human behaviour but it is useless for situations and society. We can use our past experience to tackle present situation but it has no guarantee for the future problems. The elders might think that youth is inexperienced but every generation’s mentality, thinking process and situation is different so the past experiences of boomer cannot handle today’s problem of youth.
I will share a small part of life with you. In my grandma’s generation, sewing clothes, cooking and cleaning were more important to manage the house. House financial management was also important. Women are expected to take care of the house and children. And it was their top priority that time. In my mom’s generation, working women who can handle the house were the best. And in my generation we can do whatever we want. Well, in these three different generations we all had different levels of experiences. My grandma told me to learn cooking and computers (she was the modern woman in her time) and my mom told me to concentrate on studies and work rather than anything else. She told me to not be dependent on any male. Three different generations and different experiences of each generation.
As a person in her twenties, I do accept that I haven’t seen the world like others but if only that thing matters then I would be underestimated. Now, our world is connected. It is connected by Social Media. I can make friends all over the world to know more about the world. My age can’t stop me from achieving it. My father used to say about my lack of experience in every argument. But now he praises me because me and my sister taught him how to use social media. My momma on the other hand still gets confused while using social media. Well, does this experience count? Hell yeah! Are we senior to them now? Hell yeah!
I love to read answers to life related questions on Quora. This one specific user caught my eye. He always speaks about his 13 year old young sister and how she is more mature than him. To him she is a talented, brilliant and empathetic person. One day, she asked him what kind of superpower he would want if he was given a choice? He said he would like to have teleportation power to travel anywhere in the world. Then he casually asked her what kind of power she wanted. His 13 year old sister replied, I want power to end Covid-19. It is disheartening to see people die. He was speechless. From this post I came to know that no matter how many years of experience you collect you need to use it with your brain wisely. That teen girl doesn’t know how the outer world is going but if she had given a chance she’ll definitely use it wisely. More wisely than her IITian brother.
Experience does not depend on seniority or age. It depends on time and how you use it.
EGO by Grant Snider
Quotes to relieve your mind Source: Pinterest
Self – sabotaging behaviours
I found this on Deepstash while searching for ideas. I got these ideas on https://www.success.com/5-self-sabotaging-behaviors-you-should-avoid/
Things I learnt today!
How to differentiate what is good and what is bad?
This dilemma we face in our life on a daily basis. We don’t know how to differentiate between good or bad. To make it easy, our ancestors came up with the idea of morals and ethics. The set of rules and regulations we have to follow in our life. This set of rules will make us a good person in our society. If we do not follow them or go against them, we will become evil or bad people. If you observe a little bit or calculate a little bit you’ll find Woah! We are doing this since our childhood! We are following these made-up rules throughout our life. Let’s take the education system as an example. In our humane world, you’ll find the same set of rules in any school of any country. Discipline, being righteous, knowledge is a ladder of success, listening to elders, and offering a service to our society. These are some basic ethics or morals we can see in schools. We follow this (try to I mean) and we become morally good people in society. But does following ethics and morals will make us a good person?
In my last post, I talked about life lessons and how stories can change our life. The core of these stories is nothing but telling the importance of ethics in our life. But as I questioned earlier, does following ethics and morals will make us a good person? Partially no! Now you’ll ask why?
Because these morals and ethics are also made by humans and humans are not always right! To be a good person we need to see through the person not how he/she/them follow ethics or not. Even if the person is wrong ethically but his mind is pure then he’ll consider as a good person because his intention is not bad. So here comes the “rules are meant to be broken” kind of thing. Ethics are broken but the person’s intentions are pure so just because he broke his ethics doesn’t mean he is a totally bad person.
Now we will take another example, a person who follows ethics obediently, to follow it, he doesn’t compromise in the situation and chooses ethics over anything. Is he a good person? Partially, no. Because sometimes before considering our ethics; we need to consider others. Following ethics is good but if it is having an inverse reaction to others then it is wrong!
First thing first: The Core
Your mind or your inner thoughts are considered as your core. The core or we can say your mind is the most important thing which can differentiate between good or bad. It may have overpowered by emotions but it has this ‘gut feeling’. The ‘gut feeling’ is so strong that we can’t deny its presence. It helps us to differentiate between good and bad. Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was a student from a well-known institute of Taxila. His family had a good reputation also. But due to his intellectuality, his friends and fellow classmates got jealous. And to damage his reputation they corrupt their mentor’s mind. Due to this, the mentor asked that student to give him one thousand right-hand little fingers as ‘GuruDakshina’ (type of fees) to him. The boy was set on a journey to collect fingers. He tried to pursue people to give it willingly but no one was willing. So he started to cut their fingers forcefully. The rumors spread like fire. The boy soon to be known as ‘Angulimala’. He tied those fingers in a necklace. Once a brilliant boy is now a feared bandit/ goon. People feared him and terrified of him. One day Gautam Buddha crosses his path. The bandit was now near his one thousand fingers target. He had nine hundred and ninety-nine fingers. He just has to collect one then his task will be accomplished. The bandit Angulimala tried to chase Buddha but he failed miserably. He tried to catch up with Gautam Buddha’s pace but he was too fast to his liking. He got exhausted and stopped. He called Buddha. Buddha stopped and looked back. Buddha asked Anuglimala to stop killing and harming people. Something struck inside that goon. His weapons, the finger necklace slipped from his hand like water. And peace bloomed in his heart. And he found his redemption.
One day, the righteous king of the country came to arrest Angulimala because of the local people’s plea. He found out Buddha was staying in the forest. To give him respect, he stopped near Buddha’s abode. He saw there some scholars. He met Buddha and asked about Angulimala. Buddha told him that he (Angulimala) now one of his students. The king was astonished by seeing him. Once a cold-hearted murderer is, now a Buddhist monk. The king bowed to Buddha and said what our weapons failed to do; you did it with your words. Following your words, the bandit has found enlightenment in his life. He lost all his greed in front of you. And the king left the place with peace.
Well, the story of Angulimala ends here. But what we learn from this story is Angulimala was corrupted because of his mentor’s wish. He originally was never evil. Buddha knew this that’s why he gave him a chance of redemption. Angulimala’s core was not evil. He was never evil but due to circumstances he slowly became an evil person.
So our first story completes here. If the core is not evil then the person is bad either. He surely deserves a chance.
Yes. I can sense that this is not a reason to differentiate between good and bad but it’s an aspect. We see good people doing bad things in our surroundings due to circumstances and blaming it on them (sometimes we also do), but what you choose afterward also matters. Did you take a chance for redemption or accept your bad deeds? Then you are a good person or deserve a second chance! But if no then your core is evil and there is no backing down, there is only downhill of your actions. This is where our core matters. I have written specifically the word ‘Core’ for our inner self.
Second Thing: The actions
Now there is this second thing and this is popular in modern society is ‘Karma’ means actions.
“Every action has its consequences”
Even if a person is good at heart or core, that person’s actions or Karma will decide the consequences. He may get a chance or not, he can’t choose the consequences but he can choose his decisions and actions. I will tell you a short story about a character of a world-famous Epic. You can take a guess! This person suffered from partiality in his life. He was good at heart, righteous but ended up suffering the most.
Yes! The name is ‘Karna’. According to Mahabharata, Karna was righteous and deserved to be on top yet he was the one who suffered most. He chose his friendship and loyalty over anything else and he died for it too. He knew his decision would cost him death but to him, friend’s loyalty mattered the most.
This character taught me one thing, if you are going to choose one then don’t be afraid of consequences or accept the consequences as they are. Karna didn’t get a second chance in his life but yet he remembered by all of us.
His actions cost him consequences that he was unable to bear. Today, our decisions too cost us consequences we can’t bear. You can take an everyday example for it. … like waking up late cost us delay in every work, sleeping late cost us health issues, procrastination cost us panicking at the end moment and so on.
So if we have a good core then we should take a little bit of effort to improve our actions. If you are telling too many lies then starts with being honest with you. If you are doing something bad (for any reason) think about the long-term effects. (In successful people’s word ‘Think Big’).
These two things make us who we are and what we are. Not for others or in eyes of society but for us. If you want to expect something good will happen to you then first be a good person (at least 0.001 %). Even if bad things are happening to you, even if life trials are happening with you, even if you are in a dilemma of what is good what is bad, choose to be good.
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Just Random Thoughts 